Love the way you lie

The following is a link to the song I am disscussing in this blog http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&ob=av3e

Today I want to talk about the song "love the way you lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna. I feel that this is an extremely powerful song. This song quite clearly discusses physical and mental abuse, however there is a sort of deepness spilling out of this general idea of the song. In my opinion what makes this song deeper is the fact it has both perspectives. Eminem is singing as the abusive boyfriend however if you listen to the lyrics its as though he cant help himself. A particular lyric that shows this uncertainty and confusion of his actions is "As long as the wrong feels right It's like I'm in flight." This is his justification to his actions, even though he knows his action may be wrong he doesn’t care as long as it feels "right". At the end of the video it shows him burning up as well as his abused girlfriend. At first I was confused by this as the girlfriend is the one being abused. However, I think that him burning up shows how he is also abused by himself. He is tormented inside as if he has two parts of his mind that are in constant battle. I’m not in anyway justifying him or any other person who physically or mentally abuses. I am more or less just making it aware that the abuser does have a tormented mind as well; otherwise they wouldn’t commit the act in the first place. While looking into this further I realized that there are indeed 3 ways to look at this as we learned in class, scientifically, politically, and personally (empirical analytical, critical theoretical, situational interpretive). If we were to look at an abuser scientifically we would research and decide that something was mentally wrong and they had some sort of “disease” not to make this sound like a bad way of viewing a person its just a very straightforward manner in viewing a person and only considers facts. Looking at an abusive person in a political way pry’s a little deeper deciding perhaps there is more to this maybe the person is acting out because something is going on with their specific cultural group, or perhaps the media has influenced him in some way. Then on a more personal level they would look at the abusers childhood, home life, etc. to see if perhaps they were physically abused. I believe that you need to take all 3 views into consideration when analyzing someone and there behavior.
As the song continues you can see the typical process of how an abusive relationship works. The relationship could be going good for awhile then it takes a turn for the worst and the abusive member of the relationship will act out and the abused person will leave. However, in most cases a false apology can bring the abused back and in extreme cases, this could be there last . I think this is shown in the very explicit lyrics "I apologize even though I know it's lies I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire". He knows he is a liar but he doesn’t want her to leave because he "loves her". In reality what he loves is the control he has over her. The lyrics that Rihanna sings are very powerful because it is usually how an abused person looks at the situation. Rihanna sings " Just gonna stand there and watch me burn that’s alright cuz I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie". The abused person feels helpless and hurt but feels its ok because they love their "abuser" and the abuser “loves” them. This as you may see creates a very destructive circle that can ultimately lead to mental and physical death. Perhaps even a mental death of the abuser. Because when you think about it, if the abuser causes a physical death out of pure hatred, you could argue that they have killed part of their mind.


As a little side note i wanted to comment on the song title, love the way you lie. You could first think that she loves the way he lies to her and secondly you could think that she loves the way he lies beside her. I think its neat to think of it in both contexts.

Perspectives

About a day ago when i was i human sexuality, we were asked what perspectives people may have on sexuality.
I began to think of different perspectives that people could and do have. Off the top of my head i thought that some people view sexuality in a very cultural way. Some countries are far more open with the type of clothing they wear....or dont. While in other countries it is a must to cover up and respect ones body. As i thought of this it opened up other view points such as, family,age, friends,media,government and so on can all influence your own perspective on sexuality. With this in mind i wondered what my perspective on sexuality was. After mulling it over in my mind i realized that i view sexuality in many different ways, because I am exposed to so many influences. I am very open to say disscussing sex with my parents. Some people are very uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing with their parents and find it foreign that I do so. However, my parents have been open ever since I was little so as i grew older it just became common ground. I think the media plays a very big part on my views simply because i see what the media thinks as appropriate. In seeing that i am able to decide for myself if im comfortable with that view of sexuality or i find it degrading or so on which helps add to my views on sexuality.

I believe that by the end of this class my views will have expanded and changed as i learn more about sexuality as a whole